A few kind of random yet somehow synchronous things coupled with me losing the worst job I ever had in the most dysfunctional office environment I can imagine finds me thinking almost obsessively about the book that I always wanted to write but never did because I couldn’t find my story. As time passes and life goes on, I am starting to feel like my life is my story.
Don’t worry. I’m not nearly egomaniacal enough to believe that my life is a great story. Nor do I think that I have done anything better or stronger or smarter than anyone else. But I do sincerely believe that I have a unique way of looking at things. And that way of looking at things has helped me. Tremendously.
I think of best-selling business books, and how most of them are an interesting re-packaging of core tenets of business. That’s kind of what this place aims to be. A re-packaging of the basics. To help you be the best you that you can be.
This is an approach to living that leverages your you-ness. What I’ve realized over time, and it finally crystallized for me over the last several months, is that individuality and uniqueness is being watered down in today’s society. Technology is a neutralizer in many ways. The world overflows with too much information, and it can be overwhelming. Celebrity car chases and rehab are not news and the 24/7 reporting on celebrity shenanigans warps the collective consciousness of the American public. Everyone wants more, better, faster. Everyone wants to be thin. Everyone wants to be successful. Everyone wants to be in love. Everyone wants to be happy.
But what that means for everyone, and how they get there, is unique to every person and unique to their individual, unique circumstances. All this uniqueness adds up in such a way that creates so much diversity that there is no formula for anyone to follow. Not to get thin or rich or happy. There is no one-size-fits all diet or training plan or self-help or career counseling.
I read a great quote by a guy named Jim Rohn the other day. Before I get to the quote I should probably say this. I suspect you’re wondering “Who the hell is Jim Rohn?” Good question. But it doesn’t matter. If someone says something in a way that sticks with you, that shakes you, that makes you think, who cares who they are? Let yourself be motivated by the words. This is about getting and staying motivated, whatever it takes FOR YOU. In any case, Jim Rohn was an author and personal-development guru born in the 1930s who died in 2009. But all that matters in this case is what he said, which is: “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”
These words are so simple, yet are such a common pitfall. They support what I am telling you, that if you want to be successful you have to take ownership and be accountable. In other words, you need to create and follow your own plan.
So when you think about what I’ve told you and what I am telling you, consider your relationship with yourself…be truthful, be firm, be forgiving. In some ways, this is about designing your own life plan, based on what is important to you and who you are. What aspects of your life do you want to improve and how so? What skills do you want to leverage and to what end? Remember, listen to what others say and do and eat but only to the extent that it makes sense to you, tastes good, and fits your budget. Everyone’s different so listen to yourself and your body and adjust based on how you feel, what you want, what results you’re seeing…things like that. No one else has anything planned for you. That doesn’t mean you’ll be less successful. Take responsibility, ownership, and be accountable…the sky’s the limit. Creating and following your own plan makes it harder for you to make excuses, because you only have yourself to “blame.” When something isn’t going right, look at why. Make adjustments. Come clean with yourself, adjust and start positively influencing results.
One of the hardest things starting out will be to free yourself from all of the external pressures and cues. You hear and read and see things that put pressure on you. Whether it be about how you look, what kind of parent you are, it doesn’t matter. External pressure introduces and unrealistic and unmanageable bias into your journey. Don’t compare yourself to what you see, or who or what you think you should be. Doing that, well, is comparing apples and oranges. And if you start with a warped perspective, it will be harder for you to get started and see results. So the only comparing you can do is to compare the you of this moment to the you you want to inhabit every moment.
Everyone has a story. Some more interesting than others. Some written, some unwritten. This approach will get you writing, editing, and thinking about (not to be morbid) your epilogue. Not your epitaph. Well, maybe your epitaph too. Part of what motivated me to focus on this project was thinking about my family, my place in my family, and my legacy. I wanted it to be tangible and abstract, not only abstract. I wanted my legacy to be a thing, a thing with feeling.
What I believe, and what I offer, is an approach to help people get there. I can help you create a unique program to get the life you’ve always wanted. By identifying what’s important and what you want, I will teach you some strategies and tactics to keep those important things in balance. Learn to keep your unique life balance, and you’ll be happy most of the time, and positive always. (“Always” still allows you to have your momments; it’s not used as an absolute here. And this is the first of many liberties I’ll take, but that’s part of why this works.)
REALLY? YOU SAW ME OUT WALKING? WALKING? REALLY? [GRRRRR…]
I want to take a minute to explain the title of this page. A few years ago, I started running. Well, I thought I did. Until–and this happened several times–I’d bump into someone I knew and they would report that they had seen me…out…walking. At first I reacted a little indignantly…but then it hit me: if they think I am walking, I must look like I am walking.
It was a maddening thought…an embarrassing one….and the more I thought about it, it was downright mortifying. But that is what motivated me to stick with it. Whenever I feel myself slowing down in any sense, I remember where it all started. And I remember that this journey isn’t about what other people think, it’s about what I know. Kind of. Away we go!
[For the record, I have finished a half marathon in under 2 hours.]